hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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