the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize