he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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