How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
