I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
