if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
