i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
