I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
