dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Found the puke drawer
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
