I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
