KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
