i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
