You're a womanizer and a bitch.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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