Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
