I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
