i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize