I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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