I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Randomize
