you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize