Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
