My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
wow bdsm is so cute
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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