the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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