are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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