Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You're a waste of cheezeits
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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