i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
