i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
