Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
the liver wants what the liver wants
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
