I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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