I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
