Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
