I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
