are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
