u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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