Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm at about main and main street
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
