I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
