Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(712): View more from Iowa

I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again

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(815): View more from Illinois

my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.

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(845): View more from New York

I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?

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(915): View more from Texas

at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka

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(907): View more from Alaska

omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo

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