Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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