he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
