One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
