If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
