How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
