So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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