I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
