You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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