Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize