So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
In other news, I just burned my penis
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
