Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
