Who did Billy Mays play for?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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