Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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