I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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