If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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