check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
