I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
smell my finger.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
