I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
FUCK WHALES
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
