how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
