Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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