so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
