Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
