sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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