yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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