he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
