Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
