This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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