..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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